My Disappointment

I found this letter in a box today, perhaps was written last year, it was titled 'My Disappointment'...


I believe love is an important part of life. We're living beings with emotions, affections and desire. We want to love and we want to be loved. I used to think that love's like a fairy tale, but it didn't turn out to be one. Still, it teaches me a lot, though it teaches me the hard way.

There's this particular girl, who I just don't understand why I'm so desperate for her. I mean, she's really no one special, she's just a girl, just like other girls. But we've been through so much together that it ain't about mere physical attraction anymore. We've nurtured love, I know I love her, for always. But I always doubt that she loves me.

I care a lot for her. I tried, I tried to be there for her and trying to ease every single problem she faces. It gives me a kind of satisfaction, knowing that i've done something for someone I love. But it ain't not giving me the sense of appreciation from her, the appreciation I desire so much, that I want to know that she needs me. It's sad.

I never regretted doing every single thing for her, I just feel disappointed. I enjoyed every second of the smile on her face, sweet.. Now, I learnt that love is not owning, it's just wanting her to be happy and I wish her the best. You know that, all this while, I don't dare to leave her, because I'm really afraid that she falls into the hands of a wrong guy, someone who ain't true to her. Of course, I wouldn't know if someone loves her sincerely, but at least I know, my love towards her is genuine, but this situation is too hard for me to handle no more..

You're the only girl I know I'd love forever. I don't see the need to explain myself further, if we really can't feel the kind of love and care we're giving each other, this love is too weak, we're too weak, and I'm nothing more than a loser. The promise, I'd keep it, as promised. Perhaps we really need a serious amount of time to realise more before deciding in something as important as our future. There ain't no need to hate each other. We loved each other and had fond memories together. You're always special in my heart. Probably no one will ever stand higher than you in me..

Take care, I love you..